Need some love while dealing with the smog nazis

Hello fellow mkv owners.
Here is my situation. I live in CA. And this year the luftenfurer of CARB has tapped me to go to the dreaded STAR smog station based on the supee high probability that my pzev is a gross polluter.
Last year some industrious and admittedly creative tweaker managed to cut out my oem catalytic converter for its .17 cents worrh of 15 year old catalyst.
The most arbitrary and asinine rules are at play in ol CA. Before carb will help me deal with my “tampered” cat they say I have to get it fixed. So... in order for carb to grant me assistance in repairing my failed car I have to fix the problem that I need assistance for in yhe first place then you will help me fix my already fixed problem. “ That is correct sir” pop...
Anyway, if there is any one out there with a BGQ 2005.5 ca emissions cat laying around from your testpipe or hiflow swap I could use it over here in the twilight zone. Thanks! PM me if you do.